lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
