Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Are we still banned from the library?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
