How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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