I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
