Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
