Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
