better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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