oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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