broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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