New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
