Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
