I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
