dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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