help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
