Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this boner is exhausting
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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