so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
