Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize