i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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