If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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