Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
