I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
