This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
