i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
