every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
