apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
