Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Let's get the cat blown out
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
