Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
