Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize