How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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