Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
