HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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