I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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