Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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