It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
