worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
