I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
