Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
