The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Pants are for mortals
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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