What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
