That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think i have herpe
just one?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
