It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
