Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
