I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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