therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This baby is an asshole
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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