you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
