You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
