All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
