Define "chronic" masturbator.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
