This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
