do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
