the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
