Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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