You really coming over, don't trick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had to cum in my sink.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
