I'm going to jail i love you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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