You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
