Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
