before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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