Small penises have feelings too.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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