your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize