He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm at about main and main street
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize