Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
