I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
